7:00 am: It was a cold misty morning in Marion, North Carolina, the birds were quiet and the mist seemed to pour over the mountains in cascading fashion. Soon this all changed as the bugle rang, restless campers poured out of bed eager to race to the dining hall for breakfast, while other more restful campers were gently nudged in the direction of the tuck. It was a perfect day for a mystery.

7:30 am: Breakfast had commenced and the campers devoured a nutritious breakfast of french toast sticks and sausages. I opted for a yogurt not wanting to dull my detective sense with carbohydrates this early in the morning.

8:15 am: Chapel had commenced and I was seated in the perfect vantage position to record any mysterious ongoings. The campers delighted in the chapel songs and were treated with a true story from John Menendez, but I wasn’t fooled so easily, I knew something was amiss, I just couldn’t figure it out.

8:45 am: The cabins race to go clean those cabins but one cabin deviated from this natural pattern. Little Slaty was embarking on a journey of epic proportions, they began the Little Slaty survivor competition that ran throughout the day. One group of suspects I can check off the list.

9:45 am: My detective senses drove me to the beach to start the day, there I witnessed an eic kayaking class instructed by an incredibly well educated Trevor Francis, no luck there finding any mysterious circumstance. However, my luck would turn around soon as I found my way to the diving board. The diving class taught by Joey Blasetti, an equally well educated but slightly more athletic counselor, was extremely mysterious. I witnessed a showdown of epic proportions where Brooks A and Thomas R both learned how to backflip, Brooks A came out victorious. Alas, I could not find the heart of the mystery.

11:00 am: 2nd period had started and I had decided to scope out the climbing tower. It was here that Sam H made substantial contributions to his gold bar, climbing two of the necessary sides of the tower in record time. Little did I know though, as this was happening something nefarious was grabbing hold of camp timberlake. Wade G received his bronze in Airsoft by defeating Dan Burfield in a 1v1, I don’t doubt that there were solid clues here but alas my detective sense has never led me astray before. I continued on in pursuit of mystery regardless of this setback.

12:20 pm: Lunch had begun, it was chicken quesadillas, a favorite of mine. Alas, there is no room for favorites in mystery and I had to stay on my toes. Celebrations were held for the Birthdays of Bobby B and Aaron W, in the chaos something mysterious must have happened. It was here at lunch when they announced the winner of the tribal game last night, the Black Bears. Rats, how could I have been so foolish, I must have missed something, how could the golden eagles have lost. Before I had time to regain my composure, we were off to rest time.

1:50 pm: The free time bugle had rung and the restless campers raced to Trading Post, many activities took place during free time making it hard to keep track of the clues. I did my best to compile a list of the most suspicious activities.

  • Hampton C led a group in a crooked mile run at a blistering pace

  • Beckett B managed to notch 8 groupings in archery earning his bronze and working towards his silver, I guess astonishing athleticism must run in the family.

  • Mountain bikers descended rapidly and then ascended just as rapidly, and then kind of hung in the air a minute before descending once again onto the airbag. The airbag is a perilous jump and the tricks were astonishing. Pick D managed to flawlessly execute a no-hander into a no-footer and Davis O also absolutely styled it. Many others attempted and conquered this airbag including previously mentioned freak athlete Joey Blasetti.

  • A pickleball championship commenced and some unfortunate disqualifications paved the way for Connor Th and Joey Blasetti to win the tournament, there’s something suspicious about that Joey guy and not just his excellent hair.

3:00 pm: It was the start of third period and after an eventful free time I was no closer to solving this mystery so I made my way to the basketball courts to witness Fran Miranda win some competitive 1v1s, but this is not what caught my eye. Instead I focused my sights on something much more mysterious, Jack C and Walker F both managed to achieve their silver in basketball, something seemed amiss, especially because Walker had also managed to achieve his bronze bar in disc golf that morning. Barnacles, I’m stumped again, with no clear lead I was left unsure and getting stressed.

4:15 pm: I was down but not out, I had one last guess and that brought me to the ranges. The archery range was calm and collected with expert marksman such as Beckett A and Turner B notching arrows from well past 15 yards, nothing amiss there. So I turned my attention to the riflery range, it was there that I found a much different vibe of controlled chaos with a mix of refined politeness, the shooters took aim at a variety of targets, from paper bullseyes to crocs. They even practiced their performative musket shooting managing to all reload and fire in sync. Unfortunately, this brought me no closer to the heart of the mystery.

5:30 pm: Drained and defeated, I made my way to the dining hall for dinner. Dinner consisted of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, gravy, and Timberlake’s world famous brownie delight. Fried Chicken is for winners I thought to myself as I chugged my water and got back to forming a hypothesis. I was aroused from my deep thought and philosophical thinking by the evening announcement. Jake Highfield raced around the room as it exploded in yells of fiery enthusiasm. Junior and Intermediate camp were participating in sock war, while Senior camp were participating in cabin night. (Tomahawk and Little Piney: campfire smores followed by  World’s largest slip and slide. Big Piney and Stompers Knob: campfire smores followed by battleball. Little Slaty: Survivor. Big Slaty: World’s largest slip and slide followed by campfire smores. Greybeard: Trading post raid followed by a  lookout hike.) This provided me with neither clue nor direction for my hunt. I write this article feeling defeated and upset with myself, but I am not dejected. My search will continue and I will solve this mystery, for there is something amiss at Camp Timberlake and I won’t stop until I get to the bottom of this.

Signed,

  Yours Truly,

Joey “Sherlock” Blasetti

Turtleback Counselor

Self proclaimed freak athlete

Proud FSU student

Lifetime Golden Eagle

Gentleman

Scholar